Recently showing this by jumping in the pool for her first full swimming carnival and completing a 25m lap, enjoying the sheer act of participating with no thought about who would be the winner or worrying about not finishing. I am amazed at the absolute pleasure she takes in learning a new language, instrument or sport and not giving a second thought to failure, instead enjoying questioning her failed attempts so that she can get better.

When do we learn to fear failure, to fear trying new things for fear of not succeeding? When do we learn to resist change? (even though we know change is an inevitable  part of life). When do we learn to put limits on what is truly possible?

To watch a six-year-old embrace change, enjoying the opportunities and possibilities it brings has made me think about change and times of failure in my life. Looking back the biggest growth periods in my life have come during periods of change or after failure (and I have had some big and public ones).

To reach any goal we have to embrace change because we have to attempt new things to get to a new place in our life. We have to embrace the possibility of failure and be prepared to fail and learn from it.

I recently had a chance to embrace the fear of failure and the opportunities it can bring. I had agreed to speak at a national conference in Sydney and before I went I did not really look closely at who else was speaking. Once I arrived at the conference the levels of the speakers in the morning session were fantastic and my nerves were tingling but after lunch they went to a whole new level. I was to be third speaker after lunch. The first speaker after lunch was a member of the World Health Organisation and simply amazing. The next speaker was a professor from Oxford University and left the audience in awe. During the professor’s speech I went to the bathroom and contemplated walking out of the conference. Thoughts of “What am I doing here?” and “How can I follow these speakers?” flooded my head.

I stopped, took a deep breath and decided “This is my chance to walk the talk”. Each day we face these moments in our life, choices about moving forward or staying still. Walking out would have not only been hugely unprofessional but also would have robbed me of the chance to grow. After the presentation I got to talk to the professor for 30 minutes one-on-one before he had to leave; he now emails me with suggestions and thoughts about projects I run.  The presentation  not only went well, I also made a connection with a person who has added so much to my life and I was invited to deliver a number of other presentations off the back of it.  No future presentation will ever feel as intimidating as that day.

Our fear of failure and change sets us in a holding pattern, a cycle of safety with no real momentum forward. It freezes us into a pattern of non-decisions and we go with the flow of everyday life.

Purely thinking and talking about change will not make it happen. Waiting for the perfect time will mean we never start because we live in an imperfect world. The time is now.

“You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take” Wayne Gretzky